Toilet learning is a major milestone in the life of the family. Toilet learning should be a positive experience for everyone involved. There is no magical age that all children will accomplish this. Just as children learn to roll over, crawl, walk, feed themselves, and drink from a cup, so do they learn to use the toilet at different ages.

Toilet learning can be easily accomplished when the child is ready, but it takes patience, commitment, and cooperation between the parent and the caregiver. Consistency is essential. Problems arise when adults do not pay attention to the child's lack of readiness. They pressure the child through weeks of failure rather than realize that the timing is wrong. If the child is ready, the average learning time should be less than a week.

Toilet learning must be a mutual agreement between the caregiver and the parent, when the child is ready to learn. Toilet learning begins before the actual procedure does. The caregivers will do a lot of talking with the child about the benefits of toileting, different types of pants, the responsibility of growing up, the importance of using the toilet when away from home, etc. A number of activities will be conducted to make the child comfortable with the idea of toilet learning. Staff will read a number of age appropriate books to the child. Toilet flushing will be taught and the child will learn how to wash hands properly. Toilet learning should be a fun experience for everyone.

TOILET LEARNING READINESS:
Verbal Stages of Readiness:

Basic verbal skills: The child is able to speak in three or four word sentences
• Stage 1: The child tells you he/she has a wet diaper, recognizes when he/she is wet.
• Stage 2: The child tells you he/she is wetting, recognizes the sensation of being wet.
• Stage 3: The child tells you he/she will wet, can control himself and use the toilet.

Physical and Psychological Stages of Readiness:

1. Stays dry for a long time. (The child is able to "hold" his urine and bowel movements.)
2. Can recognize when diaper is wet or soiled.
3. Has bowel movements at regular times .(Child chooses when to move his bowels)
4. Adults can recognize when child is moving his bowels. (Child is deliberately moving bowels.)
5. Can undress and pull up his own pants. (Important because this is the work of the child, not the caregiver.)
6. Initiates interest in using the toilet and asks to wear underwear.
7. Wants to be independent (which is very important for the learning process).
Child is emotionally ready and is open to learning. (Is child generally cooperative?)
8. Child has an awareness and knowledge of the world beyond himself. (This sign may seem unrelated to toilet learning, but it is a behavior that has been seen in children who are ready to use the toilet.)
9. Can follow three and four step instructions. (This is critical for learning to urinate or move bowels, wipe himself, flush the toilet, and then wash hands.)
10. Can use consistent words or gestures to communicate.
11. Is able to physically get to the toilet and sit on it without help.
12. must show a willingness to want to sit on the toilet and understand it's function.

Kid'n'Kaboodle policy requires the following for toilet learning:

1. Child will wear loose fitting clothing (which is easy to pull down and pull up).
2. No overalls, bib-type pants, onesies, or T-shirts with snaps between the legs.
3. No pants with belts or one piece outfits.
4. Determine from the beginning of learning whether child will sit or stand (boys).
5. No dresses. Children cannot see to pull down underwear while wearing dresses.
6. A bag with a minimum of 3 changes of clothing, including socks, and 4-6 pairs of underwear or training pants must be brought to the Center everyday. (An extra pair of shoes would also be helpful.)
7. The laundering of soiled clothing is the responsibility of the parents.
8. Child must wear thin, cotton underwear or training pants 24 hours a day. No pull-ups.
9. Child cannot wear a diaper for naps or bedtime.
10. Positive reinforcement must be continued at home.

Toilet learning will begin when the child shows that he is ready. Toilet learning can only be accomplished when the child has the ability to realize the need to go and the communication skills to express that need. When it is decided that the child is ready to begin learning, the parent must start the actual process at home. The parent must begin the process at home. When the child is successful (has no accidents) for a weekend, the parents and caregivers will agree to try toilet learning for a period of two weeks. After two weeks, if the process has not successfully been learned or the child shows no interest, has too many fears, or too many accidents, the child will be put back into diapers until the caregivers feel that the child is once again ready to begin.

When the process begins, the child should be dressed daily in clothes that can easily be taken off and put on by the child. Sweatpants, shorts, and pants with elastic waistbands are the best for success. For the first week, the child will be scheduled to use the toilet at consistent times of the day whether the child indicates the need to use the toilet or not:

• Before and after lunch
• Before and after nap
• Before and after going outside
• Upon arrival at the Center
• Just before going home

Toilet Learning Information:
Parent Hints:

The process at home should begin with lots of talking about the bathroom and the toilet and its use. Introduce the child to the idea of using the toilet once in a while. Show him the toilet seat and encourage him to sit on it. Do not force the issue. He will need time to get used to just sitting on the toilet seat. Once he seems comfortable, put him on the toilet when he may have to urinate or have a bowel movement. If he is willing to urinate or have a bowel movement, this is the beginning of success. If not, again, do not force the issue. He is not ready. Practice this occasionally (not every day at first) until he is ready to start wearing training pants or underwear full time.

At this point, the child should wear underwear or training pants 24 hours per day. This will let the child know that the parents feel he is ready to use the toilet. Also, this will help him to become more aware of when he needs to urinate because the underwear will definitely feel wet. Disposable diapers and pull-ups are designed to keep the child from feeling wet. Switching from underwear to diapers can give mixed signals to the child about what to expect.. Some children will simply wait until they are wearing a diaper before having a bowel movement.

Parents should choose a weekend to start the actual process of toilet learning. Parents will need to commit to staying home all weekend to allow the child to get use to wearing underwear and using the toilet regularly.

• A regular routine must be followed.
• Keep a log. Note times of toilet use and accidents.
• Remind the child to use the toilet, but do not make do this too frequently.
• Be calm about accidents, just point out that the underwear is wet and needs
to be changed. Then tell the child that he needs to tell or ask the next time he feels that he has to use the toilet.
• Give praise with successes so that the child is proud about the success.
• Do not give rewards, especially food or candy.
• Be patient. The child will have accidents at first. It takes a little time to get use to wearing underwear.
• Significant family events may cause a regression (such as birth of a sibling, vacation, moving, illness).
• Use words of encouragement and suggestions to maintain a positive approach.
• Be consistent and low-keyed. Demands only increase the battle of will-power between the parent and the child
• Suggested reading: Parents Book of Toilet Training, by Joanna Cole

When this process is begun at home, the parent should discuss the progress with the caregivers. When a successful weekend with no accidents occurs, the Center will begin the active process as well.

Position on Using the Toilet vs. Potty Chair:

Caregivers prefer that the child learn on a regular toilet. There is some feeling that a potty chair may be less frightening and intimidating than a toilet. Other prefer to place a special seat or adapter on the regular toilet. It is the feeling of Center that the child should learn toilet use which is practical for everyday life. Most toilets are standard. In today's lifestyle, families are constantly on the go. For practical reasons, the child should learn from the beginning to use a toilet. The child will become use to a standard piece of equipment which is available at the super market, the theater, the restaurant. It is not possible for the Center to provide a variety of toilet styles. The child feel secure by the use of a stool under his feet while sitting on the toilet.

Center's Position on Accidents:

Accidents will happen. Children get very involved in their work or play, and sometimes, forget or do not want to leave what they are doing to use the toilet. This is part of the learning process. No child will ever be punished, verbally abused, or humiliated for soiling, wetting, or not using the toilet. The accident will be treated matter-of-factly, and will be reminded to use the toilet next time he feels that he has to go. When children are playing, they do not want to be interrupted. The child will be reassured that he can come back to the activity when he is finished using the toilet. He will be reassured that the toy will still be there for his use when he returns.

In order to help a child learn how to take care of himself and become more independent, if an accident occurs, the child will be asked to remove the soiled or wet clothing and place them in a plastic bag. The caregiver will always be available for assistance, especially if the accident is a messy one. "Wipes" will be available for the child to use to assist in the clean-up. The degree of responsibility for cleanup will depend upon the age of the child and his ability to help himself and his ability to clean. The child will not be responsible for cleaning the toilet or floor. All children will be responsible for washing their own hands with anti-bacterial soap and running water. Paper towels are available for drying.

If accidents occur frequently, the child is not ready for learning, and will be put back into diapers for awhile.

The Center's Position on Pull-ups:
The use of pull-ups is common today, especially with diaper companies in stiff competition with each other. However, the use of pull-ups prolongs the learning process as they are too much like diapers. They prove to be counter- productive. The child, in many cases, cannot distinguish the difference between the two. The child needs to feel wet. Diapers and pull-ups are designed to keep the wetness away from the body.
Flushing the toilet:
The flushing of the toilet often brings mixed reactions. This can either be interesting or scary to a child. The child need to be shown how urine and a bowel movement disappears down the toilet. He should be reassured that this is normal and supposed to happen. If the child appears to be afraid of the flushing, reassure him and let him get used to it gradually. Some children love to flush the toilet. This can be used as an incentive for the child to use the toilet.
Wiping and Washing Hands as Part of the Process:
Wiping and handwashing are very important steps in toilet learning. The child will be taught the importance of wiping himself properly as well as the proper disposal of toilet paper and wipes. (We have to be careful of plugged up toilets.) Hand washing is taught long before the actual process of toilet learning has begun. Emphasis is placed up the necessity of washing after every toilet use.
Other hints for success:

• Remember: parents and caregivers can only help toilet learning when a child is ready; it is the child who controls the outcome.
• Parents and caregivers should use the same routine and words for toilet learning at home and at the Center to avoid confusion.
• Encouragement and verbal praise from adults provide positive support.
• Never force a child to sit on the toilet. This only sets up a power struggle and negative feelings towards learning.
• Encourage the child to sit for short periods of time.
• Do not get into the habit of running water to force urination.
If comfortable, the parents and older siblings should act as role models as the child watches them use the toilet.
• Praise the child for making it to the toilet on time, but do not get angry if the child has an accident. Instead, reassure the child that accidents sometimes do happen, and when they do, it is not a big deal.
• If learning is not going well and your frustrations are rising, it may be worthwhile to put the child back into diapers for awhile. He simply is not ready.
• Good communication between the parents and caregivers is paramount to success.

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