Remember being a first-time parent and feeling frustrated when your
newborn baby cried? You might have tried several things to soothe her
before she settled down….a warm bath, fresh diaper, quiet
lullaby.These techniques took time to learn. Slowly you and the baby
became a "team", and you were able to read her signals and meet her
needs.
Now multiply that baby by four, five, or six babies and
toddlers, each with different needs and at different stages of
development. Each of your daycare children will have different ways
of expressing themselves, and the younger the child, the more likely
they will be use crying to communicate. Don't let crying frustrate
you. This article will discuss the common reasons children cry and
how you can deal with it.
Infants
Infants cry for many different reasons. The younger the infant, the
more likely it is that he is crying because he has a need that is not
being met. First of all, stay calm. Never yell, shake, or handle a
baby roughly. Check the baby to see if he needs a diaper change, is
too hot or cold, is hungry, needs cuddling, is tired etc. Realize
that some babies cry longer than others. It's all right to let a baby
cry a little bit, if you have tried soothing techniques and the baby
has not settled down. If you know that the baby is not ill and his
needs are met, it's okay to put him in a safe place like a crib or
playpen to cry for a few minutes. If the baby does not settle down,
you can try something else. Infant massage is a great technique to
learn, and may be helpful in relaxing some infants. It will also help
to strengthen the bond between you and the baby.
Older babies may cry at loud noises, bright lights, strange smells,
saying goodbye to Mommy, or because of the reasons listed above. Put
yourself in the infant's position. He can't tell you what's wrong.
Again, it is all right to leave a baby to cry in a safe place for
just a few minutes if you need to get something else done, or need a
mental break.
Talk to the baby, and explain what you are doing. "Oh sweetie, I see
you have a dirty diaper. I am putting you in a fresh, clean diaper.
Here we go, nice and clean". You are teaching the infant about
herself and her surroundings.
Communicate with parents. If you have a baby in your care that cries
excessively, there may be an underlying reason. Colic occurs in some
babies and can be very hard to deal with. Even if it's not colic, a
baby's constant crying can create stress for you, the parents, and
even other children in your care. Work together with the parents for
solutions to the crying. Perhaps something simple, like a blankie
smelling like mom, can help the baby feel more secure. It may be more
complicated, like a formula or food allergy.
It may help for the parents to keep track of the baby's schedule at
home, and for you to record the schedule in your home. You can
compare notes, and even be able to target specific "crying times" the
infant has.
Remember that the longer you care for the baby, the easier it will be
for you to meet her needs. Don't give up on an infant that cries a
lot. It may take several weeks for you and her to adjust to one
another. Eventually, she may grow into a very confident, happy
toddler.
Toddlers
Toddlers can get very frustrated and cry when they cannot accomplish
something themselves. They may cry when their Daddy leaves in the
morning, or when Mommy comes to pick them up. Toddlers have a hard
time transitioning from one activity to the next, and may cry or even
throw a tantrum when moved. Assess the situation, and try to figure
out why the child is crying. You may be able to soothe the child, but
there are times when you may need to just step back and allow the
child to feel sad. Validate his emotions. "Oh, I see you cannot get
that zipper zipped. You are frustrated. Would you like me to help
you, or would you like to try again on your own?" Never make a child
feel ashamed to cry. It's okay for children to cry, even the boys.
You may wish to have a safe place set aside that toddlers and older
children can go when they are feeling sad. A corner with soft
pillows, a blankie, and some stuffed animals can go a long way in
helping a child feel secure and regain control of his emotions.
Develop a routine. A daily routine can help children feel in control
of themselves and their day. A semi-structured routine usually works
best with young children. Keep meal, snack, and nap times the same
each day. You may wish to develop a routine for drop-offs and pick-up
times as well.
Keep parents informed. Remember that toddlers have limited coping
skills, and have a hard time problem-solving on their own. Together
you and the parents can develop a plan of action to ease the crying.
What can you do if several children cry at once?
Think about what you might do in a situation where there is a lot of
crying. For instance, at drop-off time. A child may cry while saying
goodbye to Mommy. In another corner of the room, two toddlers who
were happily playing together are now fighting over a truck and
crying. And you have an infant in the high chair who needs more
cereal and is crying as well. It's important to develop a plan of
action for a situation like this.
Be calm. It's not easy to remain calm when there are two or three
children crying and they all need your attention. You may feel like
crying yourself! First, assess the situation. If a child is hurt or
otherwise needs immediate attention, focus on that child first. Sing
a song or tell a silly story to engage the other children in active
listening. Or, sit on the floor and gather all the children to you. A
group snuggle can help the children calm down.
A change of scene can also help stop the tears. Going for a walk,
marching around the room to music, putting on a puppet show…these are
all things that can engage a toddler and also help you to relax and
de-stress.
What if a child cries at naptime and disrupts the other children?
This is a tough situation, because you want to soothe the infant or
toddler and provide a restful time for the other children. In a
childcare setting, children are generally in close quarters during
nap time and it's not practical to take the crying child into another
room.
Quiet music playing may help mask the crying, and lead all the
children to sleep. Rocking or cuddling the crying child may also
help. Encourage parents to send a small doll or blankie from home
that the toddler can sleep with. Having a familiar object at naptime
can ward off the tears. Developing a rest time routine may also help.
If you always read two stories before resting and have a little "tuck-
in" phrase for each child, the child learns quickly what to expect
and can fall asleep feeling loved.
