Resolving Conflicts
Try this at home: a simple three-step process that teachers use to overcome sharing spats.
By Diane Trister Dodge and Toni S. Bickart
One of the most common conflicts among preschool children concerns sharing. While the ability to share is important, it is not always possible for young children. Telling them they have to share is not sufficient. For younger preschoolers especially, teachers should provide duplicates of materials they know will be popular. Eventually, teachers and children together can establish systems for taking turns.
Even with this precaution, conflicts will emerge. It would be relatively quick and simple to solve them for children, but skilled teachers and parents use conflicts as opportunities to teach problem-solving skills. Because conflicts often generate strong feelings, it's best to begin by giving children strategies for calming down: counting to ten, taking deep breaths, going to a "calm down" place in the classroom to relax on some soft pillows. Here's how a teacher might lead children to a solution by going through a series of specific steps. You can follow the same steps at home.
Define the problem. Putting an arm around each child, a teacher bends down and says, "I see we have a problem here. Tell me about it." Each child gives his or her view of what happened. The teacher then restates what she hears to verify the facts with the children.
Generate solutions. The next step is to come up with some possible solutions. "Can you think of some ways you each could use the truck? I'll write down your ideas and then you can decide which one you want to try first."
Agree on a solution and try it out. The last step is to agree on which solution to try and let the children know they can come back and reevaluate if that solution doesn't work. "OK, so here's what you want to try. You're going to build a garage together, and then one of you will drive the truck; the other will be the repair person. Then you'll switch. I think that's a good solution. If it doesn't work, come back and we can try another idea."
In classrooms where these steps are taught, children eventually begin resolving conflicts without the teacher's help. Teaching children to resolve conflicts is not only important for their social development, but it promotes cognitive skills as well. Additionally, it leads to a peaceful classroom environment, which is conducive to emotional well-being and learning.
